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You had to have known that I'd love this show -- The Pickup Artist.  I gotta give the folks at VH1 a lot of credit for consistently putting out quality television...and by quality, I mean absolute trash I feel worthless for watching.  The premise here is straightforward: a renowned master, who goes only by "Mystery" -- and could double Tommy Lee, by the way -- will teach a dozen underachievers how to play the game.  The contestants go through challenges -- or actually, one challenge, since the only goal is...pause for effect...talking to a woman (!).  Look, anytime I get the chance to see guys who might be bigger losers than me, I'm hooked.  And I'll admit that I see parts of myself in some of their problems, like "talks too much," "freezes up in the presence of a female," or "prematurely ejaculates with the slightest touch."  Okay, I made up the last one...and I doubt even Mystery could help me -- er, I mean, someone who has such a problem.

My friend actually recommended the book to me a few months ago -- I don't remember if I ever finished it.  It's an interesting read, filled with its own vocabulary, semi-impressive success stories, and its share of helpful pointers and advice for the 'AFC' (average frustrated chump).  But the big message is really to just have confidence and say something interesting to engage in conversation.  And that's exactly why I never got into it.  I mean, I don't see myself using any of the set conversation openers, like asking a girl to settle some fictional bet, nor would I dress up like an a**hole just to attract attention.  Now, I realize I'm not really in a position to judge , but is it that difficult to talk to someone?  What did people do before "experts" like Mystery and Style taught classes and lectures on how to be cool? 

Anyways, let's just hope that I don't get inspired to hit up some packed night-club and desperately try to pick up random girls just for the thrill of it.  That would be bad...perhaps not even VH1 worthy.