DoktaKra.com

Some of life's random moments stick with you for no discernible reason.  I remember everything about the night when Mark McGwire hit homerun number 62, from the SAT math problem I was reviewing, down to the striking date of 9/8/98.  I'll never forget when Rex Chapman connected on the greatest shot in NBA Playoff history, and the way my friends and I imitated Kevin Harlan's "for the tie" play-by-play call on the hoop in my driveway.  And of course, I sometimes reminisce about the high school gym class when a brilliant  upperclassman used the Pringles slogan (also see: title) to describe, um, exactly what you're thinking.  It all came back to me when I came across a story of unfathomable horror (or high comedy, depending on who you ask)...   

In case you missed it, a man has officially been crowned the grossest human being alive.  Now, don't get me wrong, I empathize with the woman here -- thankfully I've never awoken to find a man masturbating in my proximity while deeply gazing into my eyes.  Actually...here's a related tangent that I almost wish I didn't remember: one of my college buddies once woke up from a nap and saw his (immidiately former) roommate  pleasuring himself in front of his computer.  Bad times.  Anyways, post traumatic stress disorder and future therapy aside, this poor woman's account is even funnier because it's shockingly graphic.  She ran her fingers through her hair and discovered ?a substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance.?  Gross...but you're sure it wasn't Elmer's glue or something?  But the part that kills me is:

A passenger...comforted her and verified the semen in her hair.

 Okay, do you really need someone to confirm the origin of the mysterious goo in this situation?  And how did the man create this substantial amount -- presumably several loads -- without being caught in the act?  Who the hell is this guy...and more importanly, what's his secret??  Er...kidding, of course.  I don't understand why no one is asking these questions...