DoktaKra.com

Updated: August 19, 2008, 11:45 AM ET

It's been a boring couple of weeks for me.  I think the most "exciting" moment was when my cable provider offered me a free month of Showtime, Cinemax, and the Movie Channel, on top of my HBO subscription.  As great as that sounds, I'm not impressed.  First of all, who chooses the crappy movies they put on demand?  I've never even heard of half of them, and the rest are pure garbage that I have no interest in seeing.  Seriously, it's that bad -- .45, Shooter, Girl Interrupted, Balls of Fury??  Ugh...I'd rather read a book.  The only saving grace has been "Californication" on Showtime, which is relatively interesting....and features an exorbitant amount of nudity (the good kind).  Actually, all of the 'late night' shows on Skinemax and Showtime share this quality, but this is once again not as good as it sounds, since I have to fast forward through 10 minutes worth of mindless dialogue....and the actresses aren't even that hot.  I gotta say though, if I was 15, I would already be blind.  And on that note, let's move on...

As if you need me to tell you, the big story from the Olympics has been Michael Phelps and his world record domination.  I've really only been watching the basketball games -- or more correctly, constantly refreshing the boxscores, since NBC requires you to download a stupid plug-in that my work won't allow (boooo) -- and of course, cheering for my girl Candace, as the women (and now the men, too!) continue to show the world who's boss.  I've also developed a minor crush on the incredibly sexy gymnast, Alicia Sacramone (right)...don't worry, she's 20.  I think I have some kind of fetish for girls who can kick my ass -- I'm actually half-serious here.  You may also remember that I fell in love with Candace after she hurt her shoulder during a college game and I wanted to be there for her.  Lo and behold, Alicia fell off the balance beam during one of her routines, and apparently cost her team a medal.  She tried to hold back tears, but ended up crying...so, of course, I cried, too....(sigh)...this is how it starts.  And I mean, her name sounds a little too much like Sacramento....you know what, that's enough for me...she's now cracked the top ten of The Ladies....

UPDATE:  Not that I really care, but Alicia was just named "Hottest American Olympian" in a CBS Sportsline bracket (this means it has to be true).  I gotta say, I find this whole contest a little demeaning to female athletes, and as much as the creators don't want you to take it seriously, it sure as hell looks like an excuse to objectify respected women.  But yes, I voted for Candace (the #3 seed), who was upset by Sacramone in the 2nd Round.  I guess I can be pleased that one of my girls won, but that doesn't take the sting out of her crushing my #1 wifey in the polls...haha...