DoktaKra.com

I hate that you noticed.  A few things have gone down over the last couple of weeks (notably my banishment from Deadspin), but I'm not going to address that at this time.  I'm just going to stick with what I do best -- going off on the types of people I hate (click on that Things I Hate category in sidebar for anything you might've missed).  Oh, and just know that if I named specific peope, Chris Brown would be at the top of the list right now, above even Kobe Bryant and Shelden Williams.  CB, how could you do it?  Shameful!

*People who eat on the subway/train:  Okay, so we've all had food on the go sometimes.  If you're running late and don't have the time to sit down and eat at a table, I understand that.   But eating on the subway?  First of all, I hate you because you're making the whole car smell like your damn breakfast burrito during the ridiculously crowded morning rush.  And second, I just think it's gross.  Not to get all John Rocker on you, but have you ever seen the disgusting (usually homeless) people on the subways?  I don't even like sit down on the seats or breathe the air sometimes, much less eat something.  Ugh...

*People who pick at their food:   I originally had this category grouped with the one above, but I think it to be discussed separately.  I can't stand it when someone starts eating some of their french fries on the elevator back to their desk, or even worse, eating something while standing in the salad bar line or waiting to pay.  You really can't hold back those urges for two minutes until get to your seat and eat your damn lunch?  Come on, now!

*People who chew gum loudly:   I don't think I need to go into detail on this one.  I'll just add that if you're going to be obnoxious with your gum-chewing, at least don't keep popping it like an eight-year-old kid.  I will smack you.

*People who know my name:  I'm like the anti-Alicia Keys (shout-out to my nena, if you're reading).  Look, I'm terrible with names -- unless you're an attractive female, there's a 95% chance that I'll forget your name 10 seconds after you say it.   I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is. I've even stopped playing the whole "hey...you!" game -- I'll just spare us both the awkwardness and tell you that I don't remember.  But for some reason, everyone knows my name.  I'm not even exaggerating -- every coworker that I barely recognize, every person I volunteer with, hell, every maintenance person in my building greets me by my name.  I guess it's a little strange for me to hate someone for taking the time to remember who I am when I don't give them the same courtesy, but it's damn annoying and (almost) makes me feel bad about it.  So, stop it -- just pretend you forgot my name even if you didn't.  It'll make both of our lives a little easier...and I could really use that right now.