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I miss walking to work, and not just because the commute took all of five minutes and saved me a ton of money. It's because I hate every single person in the train station, on the train itself, on the staircase, and so on.  A few months ago, I promised to discuss my disdain for slow walkers and tourists.  That time has come.

Slow walkers:  Even if I'm not in a rush, I instinctively walk faster than most people on the street.  So, I don't appreciate it when there's traffic on the sidewalk, and I have to walk slower than Hurley after a light meal. I hate you even more if you're slowing me down because you're walking while reading a book (how is this a good idea?) or sending a text message. This is unacceptable -- I hope you trip and fall, and I'll be sure to let you know when I finally pass you.  And I will pass you, even if it's just to give you a dirty look.  As I said before, the only possible exceptions are tourists and old people, but even they'll get a slight nudge if it's a really narrow street.  The difference is, I'll say, "excuse me."

People who stand in front of the doors/exists:  Am I wrong, or is it common courtesy to let the passengers off the train before coming on yourself?  Don't most people wait like 10 seconds by the side of the door until it's their turn to board?  Yeah...try telling that to the morning commuters in the Path station.  My heart fills up with what?  Rage!

People with obnoxiously large umbrellas:  I mean, seriously, how big does it need to be?  Last I checked, the point of an umbrella is to keep you dry from the rain, not to act as some kind of pointy forcefield.  It's even better when two people with umbrellas decide to walk side-by-side.  And if you also happen to be a slow-walker -- don't say I didn't warn you.

People who walk up two stairs at once:  I don't know why, but I hate you and your long, athletic legs. That is all.

People who need to turn down the volume OR who sing along:  I'm grouping these together because I find them equally irritating.  I'm sure you've been next to someone who's listening to music so damn loudly, that you can hear every word coming from the headphones.  I hate that.  I also can't stand people who decide to (conciously or not) hum or sing along in public.  I don't care how much you love that Natasha Bedingfield song -- I don't need to hear your rendition...ever.

Ah, that felt good.  I feel a little better now...thanks for listening.  And happy holidays!