DoktaKra.com

It's that time again.  I'm busting open an oversized bag of hate, and who knows what kind of goodies I might find in there.  Let's get this thing popping...  

*Jeans with no back pockets: I still don't understand this phenomenon -- jeans should have back pockets, damn it, plain and simple. Now, no-pocket jeans might make your ass look bigger (nothing wrong with that), but without the back pocket, all butts pretty much look the same -- with noted exceptions -- when a guy (not me, of course) compares your ass other women's.  Don't get mad, I'm just telling it like it is. And besides, aren't they there for me to slip my hand into at the most inopportune time?  So do all of us a favor and put those babies all the way in the back of your closet.

*Fake pockets: While I'm here, I'd also like to mention my disdain for these pretend-pockets on some pairs of pants, which aren't really pockets at all, but useless slits in places where real pockets could and should be, but are not.  Is it really that hard to make real pockets when you're already halfway there?

*Clothing sizes: Have you ever bought something in your size, and then had it not fit? Sometimes a shirt's too big, and sometimes it's too small, despite claiming to have the same measurements as all other shirts of its kind. See, if only we had a universal system for clothing sizes so no one would have such problems. Oh, right, we do -- they're called small, medium, and large. Step ya game up, retailers!

*People who don't respect the buffer zone:  I learned about the buffer zone back in middle school, when a foreign student, Bartos, decided to sit at our lunch table.  He was a nice kid, but to put it mildly, he smelled like stale onions, and you needed to skip at least one chair if you were brave enough to sit next to him.  Since then, partly out of reflex, I always leave a comfortable buffer between me and another person.  But apparently, there are people who haven't fully grasped this concept and willingly choose the seat next to mine when there are plenty of open spaces available.  It's even worse if I'm eating and don't have enough elbow room because of your disrespectful ass -- move!

*Signing credit card receipts:  Why do stores still make you sign a credit card receipt when you buy something?  Yeah, I know that banks require them from businesses or some crap, but it makes no sense.  It's not like anyone actually compares my signature against the one on the back of my card.  Hell, I must've signed my name so many different times, with random misspellings and incomprehensible scribbles that I wouldn't even recognize my own signature.  From now on, I'm only signing fake names, sexual innuendos, or simply, "Lakers Suck" to see how long it'll take for them to catch on...